I can almost hear all moms (those who bought them, anyway) reply in a resounding chorus, “I know what you mean!” their eyes widen with certainty. They say it as if I just brilliantly articulated what exactly they have in mind.
If you’re a mom who thoughtfully or impulsively bought these DVD sets
, you can totally relate: Brainy Baby [and Baby Einstein] videos are absolutely the best when it comes to soothing tantrums and keeping toddlers entertained. These miracle disks that often go in colorful cases are little savers for me. I mean, seriously, what will I do if the geniuses behind these amazing videos hadn’t thought of them in the first place? But, isn’t why I called them geniuses in the first place, because they actually thought of them?
I don’t know. I haven’t figured what I’ll do, really. I’ll probably spend the entire day playing Itsy Bitsy Spider
with Daniel or singing Old McDonald Had a Farm, Ee I Ee I Ooo, while trying to think of what to feed him or trying to cook up a trip somewhere that will allow him to explore and appreciate his surroundings, or thinking which playgroup I should join next week. I would have been too enervated and tired to think of going to Betty’s nail salon for a quick pedi with salt scrub. Oh no, I’m going to miss Betty and her girly salon with pastel and glittery O.P.I. nail polish collection—one of the best nail salons in the Bay Area, I must say. If I can’t go to Betty’s, I’m going to have ingrown in all of my toenails they’d hurt so bad I won’t be able to walk! Then if I see her again, she’d be horrified and say, “Oohhh I teenk you need to go to the hospitaaal. You need an operayshun. Dis is really baaad” Then she’ll have this ‘I’m Scared For You’ look on her face that will eventually melt into ‘Gosh, What a Poor Girl’ look. And then, of course, the procedure will cause and arm and a leg (literally) because the insurance policy doesn’t cover it. Then I’ll spend days and nights at the hospital because it was that bad and I won’t be able to work. Then we’ll lose all our clients because they will become impatient and antsy. Then we won’t have any money to buy anything, we’ll be so poor we’ll collect leftover food and dollar change along downtown San Francisco, or maybe pretend to strum a guitar or play an accordion and wait for people to give us coins while battling the cold. But then I won’t be able to travel that far to San Francisco. My feet hurt, remember? Read more
I can almost hear all moms (those who bought them, anyway) reply in a resounding chorus, “I know what you mean!” their eyes widen with certainty. They say it as if I just brilliantly articulated what exactly they have in mind. 
